Sunday, December 8, 2019

Life of An Artist: Learning To Deal With Changes & Challenges

"Everyday is an opportunity to paint and create something powerful, love." -Victry

Can't believe it's been a whole year since I started to regularly post in my new Instagram account! So much has happened in my life this year that I could write a whole book about it! 

 Putting things in the back burner to take care for family matters should be viewed as an opportunity to put our personal preference aside and give the needed love and attention to the person that you are now entrusted to. This past year I have become a care taker, a guardian, a companion to several people that I love and care for. Many times though as I was going through the motions and wanting to give all I got, I ended up neglecting my own wants and needs. I felt that my mind was hijacked by some alien from another planet and that I no longer can enjoy being my own person. I was existing as a mere symbiotic being, instead of an intelligent human being. I ended up sad, tired, and resentful.

 But then no one is to blame, but me. I should have stopped when I couldn't go on. I should have taken time to make sure that I got my rest. That I took time to take care of my husband, home, and dog. That I took time to do the things that I love to do. Like for instance my spiritual things, my art, my writing, my music, my time with nature.

One problem that I have is one of the first things a baby learns to say and that is: No! To say no, and not to feel guilty or bad is a big challenge for me. Why is this so difficult for me to follow this simple thing? I know that a lot of women have a problem with this. We are naturally a nurturer. To actually say to someone "No." Sounds and feels mean and hurtful. It is so wrong. It's like we are going against our very nature.

My friends and family taught me this past year that saying no is not a bad thing. And that it's actually a way we renew and take care of ourselves. They also explained how they did their own self-care, and they encouraged to do so even when life seems to go topsy turvy. Since then I made a conscientious effort to take time for myself.  I think it's a learned skill to have balance in one's life. For instance when I have something that I'm been dealing with, it's really hard for me to change focus to something less significant or less important. That include my own self-care and well-being. So I have had to re-learned that there is nothing wrong with loving and taking care of ones self! ❤

This past year I had to really put that the advice given to me in practice. I had to accept my limitations. When I started to to care of my personal needs, it was like I was a dry rose that was slowly reviving! What a wonderful feeling it was for me to go back to the things that brings me peace, joy, and happiness!

That doesn't mean though I have completely forgotten others, or that somehow I disconnected from other humans or that I have somehow forsaken those that need me. On the contrary now that I am taking care of myself, I found that I'm more motivated to step up and help others. And I do it with so much more enjoyment! But of course all in good balance.

Did I learned to say no? I am happy to say that I mostly have. I am still working on the guilt part of when I say "no" though. Yeah, that is a hard one that is going to take time to improve. I'm proud though of what I have been able to accomplish! These past several months I have made great strides. Like for instance: I'm taking care of my spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental needs now. Thanks to Deborah Norville encouragement, I finally got my thyroid checked, which I should have done long time ago! I got a new prescription for my eyeglasses. I started to go to therapy, to learn to deal with anxiety and stress. I started to paint and write again. And I even signed up for the gym! And I love that I am getting my much needed beauty rest!

 There are times when life throws us a curve ball. Life is not perfect. But it's much better and wonderful when we learn to stop and just smell the roses!

 "We are the glue that keeps things together. Without that glue things comes apart. So stay strong you beautiful and amazing glue! -Victry


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